problems like everyone else

hey...hey.. hey...I am going to tell you something. READ THE POSTS ABOUT me being the girl i fear the most..If you have read it already disreguard that. I decided to post a second time today because i love talking to you guys even though some of you don't respond. I think every force (maybe even god) is trying to stop me from being with Larry. Everyone talks about him. They say he's ugly and stuff. Even my sister knows Larryisn't ugly. And he decided to take a girl who i know deep down inside i pleased him more than she does. And i am not afraid to ask him that. I am sick and tired of being afraid. I have strong feelings for him. I am frankly sick and tired of being critisized by people who are jealous of us. I want that girl Stephany out of the picture. i fear that's impossible because...well..because we don't see each other. I've never even met the girl. I hate hate hate the fact that i can't have him. I used to joke that he had a sign on his head that said he was owned by me..silly right? I miss him so much. Just earlier we were messaging each other. Why does he have such an effect on me?!?! it hurt me in my soul because i don't want to hurt Stephany because that's a terrible thing to do....Deep down inside i know whatis right and what ir wrong. But at times like these it is hard to follow the right....if the wrong seems so much better. Sometimes i wonder why wrong sometimes feels so right and why right feels so wrong. It irks me soooooooo much. I wonder if there is anyone who has been through this situation besides me. I know i have already been through this once. I lost him do to doing the "right" thing. I regret it every day. Every single day. Never before has a boy left such a big impact on me like Larry has. I know i left a mark on him too. I just know it. Somewhere somehow someway i know he feels the same. It's like a connection thing where i just know. I do..I do know....I know i had worked hard to obtain the place that i WAS with him when we saw each other everyday. I wonder if he believes we can be together again. That is something no one can know besides HIM. honestly i hate running from the truth. Dang...David Archuleta speaks to me sometimes. He can sing so well and maybe he is the only one who can understand me. I used to think my sister could but she can' far i don't know anyone who understands how i feel deep down in my "core soul":-(.....If you need me i will be in eternal slumber dreaming about the boy of my dreams.

Broought to you by boredem land!!!


Alayna Whisper said...

:O wow, I feel the same way..