♥Dream Life♥

Now Playing In My Headphones ; I Need A Girl by Trey Songz (That Gorgeous Man Aboveee ^)

You Know how everyone has an image of what their dream-life would be like ...Mine is SPECTACULAR !

Dream Life: iWake Up Next To The Boy Of My Dreams (And He Looks Like Either Trey Songz ; Fabolous ; Or Timothy ); kinda like Barbie Had Her Ken :) . iWould Be Famous For Either Singing/Rapping/Acting . iWould Be In Magazines & All Over Everyone's Tv. iWould give back to my community & still keep the real friends i had before they liked me for being famous. i would have friends from hollywood and all over. everyone - even internationally would know my name . My nickname would probably be billions or nisey or w.e the people or I felt is right. Later On About My Career's CLIMAX ; iWould Have a beautiful baby gurl or boy. i would spoil them to death but make sure they had their mindset correct. i would make sure their life wasn't like mine growing up. i would teach them right from wrong and give my entire life and devotion to them. i would let them grow up at their own pace ; buht not too fast ; and not too slow . My Life Wouldn't Be Perfect but it would be how i wanted it to be. that kind of dream life....

Too Bad iWouldn't Trade The Life iHad For The World . Yeaahh All the material stuff is nice and i want it ; buhh all i need is all i have and maybe even less than what i have. i love everything that God Or Whoever anyone reads this believes in ; has given to me . :D

Likee A Normal Day For Me - Todayy Was Exciting And Adventorous .

iHAVEE A TWITTER ! @AsianBeauty_Lee

BROUGHt To You bY BORDEM laNd ☻♥♀♣♠

Yesterday....

(10.22pm)

S.O.T.D. - Yesterday by Toni Braxton Ft. Trey Songz



Today Was Fun. Lol .



My Twin Got Out Of Jail Yesterday . iWas Soo Happy To see Her today. By Twin iMean My Fakee Twin. We Are the closest friends you will ever meet. iCan tell her anything and don't have to worry about her judging me ! Now iNoee Yurh wondering why she was in jail. she got framed by a kid in one of the special education classes at my school. she left her jacket in one of her classes . some boy put weed in her jacket pocket and showed it to the teacher. everyone thought it was hers and she got put in a juvinielle detention center. that was the day before yesterday...then yesterday we had a whole bunch of cops come to our school for a random search because there was a shooting on seventh avenue the day before. they were taking everyone's cellphones and electronics and you couldn't get it back until the end of the day. luckily my phone has been broken since September.



iTried To Make It My Mission to find the person who framed her but, he came to me. when i walked into the guidance office this boy from special ed. who claimed he was in love with me & kinda stalked me was sitting down talkinq to a bunch of cops. i did the math in my head and became suspicious. i started listening to their conversation and aparently he had been caught with marajuana/weed just like my twin. then on myspace he wrote me proclaiming his love and also admitting to the crime. as much as i wanted to choke him there was nothing i could do. my twin was already out and he was already suspended & transferring. im just glad she is ok. ofcourse her mother doesn't believe her story and is trying to get her tested for smoking . SMH

Today ialmost tackled her when i saw her. i love that gurl no matter how much we fight . and everyone knew about what happened so they made a big deal to. and we also decided to have a BRAWL. Boys Vs. Girls .

It All started when i hit branden . branden is my boyfriend (no one knows about us tho) who has a bunch of crazy friends who either date ; like ; or used to date one of my friends. So his friend hit me after i hit him. then one of my friends jump in. Next thing i noe we are all slamming each other ; running around ; having a jolly old time. i got slammed by numerous boys. i got dragged across the floor . thrown into a few lockers. the works. still even after a few bruises and scratches ; i had a whole lot of fun. we were smiling ; laughing ; goofing off. we all were on camera but, we didn't get in trouble. maybe tomorrow someone will shout us out . that would be kinda funny/bad .

Well i think im kinda sleepy . its been a long long day ! yet it was all fun and games ; even if someone got a lil hurt. lol.

BTW : R.I.P. Branden's Father ; He Died Todayy . SMH

BROUGHT TO YOU bY BoRDem LAnD *▐

Remember Me ?

email adress ; foreverdiamond601@yahoo.com or smexyme3@gmail.com
Aim ; CoutureThaRush
Facebook ; Denise Lee
Myspace; myspace.com/themademwithswag

{10;52 pm} My Life isn't in ruins compared to some people but, it is what we would call a slight mess. Boy problems: every girl has them . i just get them more often because of the people i choose to adore.

" We Like The One Who Ignore Us ; Ignore The Ones Who Like Us ; Love The Ones Who Hurt Us ; And Hurt The Ones Who Love Us ." - Dont know

Its The sad yet simple fact about life. yay ! im growing up. To a certain extent.

The Reason Why iHaven't been posting is because ive been busy . i miss blogging so much. ive made friends from different parts of the world because of it. i can't keep my other blog going because it takes more tim than this one . but hey atleast you guys can get somewhat of an update.

As For the boy i was crying about in my last post , Nisaiah , so much has happened between us. Over the summer we were on and off. We had such a big fight one time he picked me up and threw me off a bike and i was bleeding. i wasnt scared to fight a boy. but he ran away . As of now we're friends. the feelings are still there though. i steel call him Nanapooh when no one can hear me or when we share a conversation over aim. i still miss him in some ways , but indeed i am moving on from him. im too young to waste my life away on a boy.

Ritee Now iHave to focus on graduating. even though there are many distractions. i guess im starting to discover how i really feel about everything in life. i have gotten over the abuse . yes my father does abuse me ; but in some way i still love him. its more of an obligation to love him though. i try hard not to hate him with every bone in my body . my sexuality ; that's something i shouldn't really worry about aht my age . i cant distract my self with the foolishness of these young boys. no matter how attractive.

I promise that i will try to post whenever i find the time . i love writing about my feelings and getting feedback and all kinds of advice. so please comment and tell me what you have to say. Im kinda BRAND NEW to this all over again . : )

- Once Agen - Brouqht To Yuh BY BORDEM LAnd

Update..cont.

im currently: cryinq my eyes out [11:04 pm]


as i was sayinq. the last day of school turned out to be a bad day. at first nisaiah nd i seemed 2 be doinq the friend thinq ohk. Then all of a sudden he stopped talkinq to me. i didnt want to invade his personal space so i just left it alone. i took the train home with the smut (monee) and atiyana my bestiie. nd not 2 mention nisaiah taqqed alonq. but i think he only came 4 monee. he wasn't talkinq at all. neither was monee it was akward bcuzz atiyana nd i were qoofinq around beinq loud nd they were juss dead silent.
nd when it was me nd atiyana's stop i didnt even hear him say bye 2 me once i said it. my soul almost crushed into a little ball. i thouqht we were friends. even tho i hoped we could still be somethinq more deep down inside. as atiyana was walkinq me home. we poured our hearts out about those stupid old boy problems we had. but there was nothinq either of us could [or so we thouqht] bcuzz it was the last day of school. there would be a whole 'nother 3 months until we saw them...nd riqht b4 atiyana nd i parted i told her i was qoinq to cry when i qot home. then i was qoinq 2 take a nap.
later on that same day i packed my clothes nd qot ready 2 qo to cierra's house.

im qoinq 2 try 2 finished the next post buht riqht now i cnt even think. im cryinqq 2 much. hopefully 2mmr ill have a better shot. nd ill let u guys noe why im cryinq. juss know it has 02 do with nisaiah.

↨♥☻BrOUGht To yOu BY bordeM lAnd☻♥↨

Update.! on my life

its been months...i know
I've qrown a lot since i last posted. thinqs have chanqed buht all for the better. i haven't had time 02 bloq.! i miss all of you nd thanks 02 all my followers.

I am currently in an akward relationship with a boy named Nisaiah. Juss like isaiah with an N. We have been throuqh some touqh times. we have been on and off since like 3.10.09. im in love♥. atleast i think.lolss. buhht ive never in my life ever felt this way about a boy b4. i miqht have said this before buht this is so uhmazinqly different. he miqht juss be special.
well juss last niqht we had another problem. when we had our most recent break up 02daiis b4 the last daii of skool. he kissed some qirl named Skye. i qot ova iht the same day it happened. i didnt care cuzz we technically weren't qoinq out at the time. We broke uhp cuzz he was flirtinq with other qirls on this [conference] call that a lot of us had. he flirted wiff 02 qirls. monee[smut] nd taylor[old friend]. smh. i juss called him nd told him iht was ova. 02 meh there was nothinqq 02 really talk about bcuzz he had been cauqht doin somethinq sleezay. he thouqht he was slick buhht i was on the phone the whole time.
the next day he moved on to skye. some qirl who could be pretty buhht he mouth bothers meh.! she had liked him since they were in seventh grade.[he has been leftback so he is older than meh]. they kisssed in the stairwell at my friends house. we had been cuttin the last week of skool at his house. buht the very last day of skool we went. when iFound out i didnt really care. i kept about my business. cierra thouqht i should talk 02 him. so she called him into the hallway nd made me come out after him. he told ppl i asked him back out buht i swear 02 god i didnt. no crosses count. i asked him why he didnt juss tell meh he liked monee nd taylor.smh. his pride seemed 02 block his view at that point.
that same niqht conroy nd avery called meh. conroy[roy] is my fake sista cierra's boyfriend. nd avery is juss a friend. they are both in the 8th qrade nd are qood friends with nisaiah. they asked me a whole bunch of questions i felt were unecessary buht i answered them anyway. i knew nisaiah was on the line so i answered them wisely nd with full truth. then roy pretended that he hadn't been on the line the whole time nd called him. we arqued a lot buht in the end of that conversation we decided 02 be friends. wierd riqht.?!
the next day was thee last day of school. i qot dressed in reqular clothes nd met uhp with cierra so we could enter the school 02qether. on my way 02 meet her i saw deon nd nisaiah about 02 enter the school. i waved 02 the both of them nd ran 02 cierra so we could qet in the skool asap. most of everyone was in reqular clothes when we arrived in the cafteria. all the students that had on reqular clothes had 02 stayt in the cafeteria until report cards were distributed. i chanqed in the bathroom into my flip flops. i took the shirt that covered my tank top off 04 a second nd cierra took it nd ran from meh.! i was mahd. cuzz the tank top showed off characteristics that i dnt normally show off. especially in front of classmates.! personally my chest is kinda biq. buht that doesnt mean i would want 02 show iht off at all.! buhht i had nothinq 02 cover myself so i had to wear the tank top. nd when nisaiah saw meh in the hallway his eyes lit uhp. nd i almost blushed.! how can i blush...lolss i thouqht i was completely ova him buht i wasn't sadly.
when skool let out 04 the last time b4 the summa it was about 11:45 i believe. thass when we had our lil water fiqht. i had like 2 poland sprinq bottles buht that was iht. i qot soaked 02 the underwear. i qot hit with water balloons nd splashed with opponents water bottles.

02 be continued....

i missed postinqq my unbelievebly odd stories...lolss

Can you really label this?

creating the new beggining isn't so hard. my goodness i think i just finihsed reading one of the best books i have ever read. anyway im not going to keep my other blog. i've given it a lot of thought and i don't have time. can you believe that?! my young life is being filled with no time. Ok since i have blogged in a couple days i have exciting news....eeeppp!!! guess who larry is now associated with ever since he dumped stephany....you got it ME! when he told me they were through i went ballistic..i wanted to bounce of the walls. so he asked me if i would take her place blazay blahhh...ofcourse i said yes! I am so excited....now we're meeting up soon. i don't wanna take any of my friends but then again cierra could be a huge help...omgeeshhh i can't wait to see him. im just......speechless about this whole situation :-D. Me and Larry....*sigh* please pinch me if im dreaming. ok so so so so so so i will post later but im headed straight to school right now. I'm so freaking ready to go to school for some odd reason...just for the social life i am now in complete control of!!!

brought to YOU by BOrdem land

{EXPLAIN}

LETS SEE......i can't explain. to be so torn is like being flat out broken our ripped apart by 2 things. thats not even the full definitio of it all. no its not fair at all. Heck no...the way i see nothinqq in this wolrd is ever fair. i hate pretending. lying just sucks.....words can't explain....nothinq can explain....im being thrown in a rushing river of confusion looking for explaination....i wish i was the only one but we all suffer...we all suffer at some point..my mom just got off the phone with one of her good friends. her mother has died and she is broken.she was crying so badly. i hurt to listen to what my mother was telling me...you know sometimes i wonder if it ever gets better. if the pain goes away. i am lucky compared to some people...i might not always feel like it but i sure am. i haven't had anyone close to me die yet. the new and the old people in my life are all still her...if i could ever keep it that way forever i would...but i noe some are going to have to go...it breaks my heart to think about the horrid future and the good future...but is there really a difference?? the only people who could tell and explain that to me are the ones who have already lived their life. i wish i knew the truth. then again sometimes i don't....sometimes i like the anticipation and the waiting...what if i want to be suprised like i will have to be? i could go any way. and im not scared...so many i scared to die..me i am ready and waiting but even as i wait i live the life that i want to....maybe not everything goes as planned but the bad always lead up to the good. things have to look up in some wierd way. it might not be the way you wanted it but you don't always get what u want....that part isn't hard to believe at all.

{CONFUSED}...not really

I'm sorry. This girl can't help it. This girl really can't help it. I'm ending this..watchamacallit with Malik hopefully tonight. I have a new goal. And that goal is to try not to piss off my sister. No thats not really my goal. I'm have plenty of time to search for that. But today i decided to umm....talk about someone else's problems. For once this post will have nothinqq to do with me. HERE GOES NOTHING

My friend (can't mention names) likes a boy. She is a girl so don't worry that's not the wierd part. The boy is handsome to her. They have dated before but broke up for reasons unknow to man. My friend still has feelings for this character. For some reason she still has a strong attraction to him because there break-up wasn't all that serious. They just decided out of the blue. But she also has her heart set on another boy she dated but broke up with him for the boy i just mentioned. She has never met the first boy to this day. They had a "Phone Relationship" for quite some time. She promised him once they broke-up that when she met him if she believed he was cute she would get back with him. But for now she remains single....Or atleast from what I know. But i think she would tell the truth to me because we are the closest out of any of our other friends. I trust her enough for her to tell me the real truth.

Whoosh...Your life is gone

In a second. In a heartbeat. It takes no longer for DEATH to consume you. It can even take a shorter time. I don't want to dwell on death but i believe it is worth discussing. Not all people live to their hundreds and 90s. But we all no this. What i really want to say is LIFE is too short to let it walk right by you. You have to grasp every moment in LIFE or else....You see what i am saying. Live, Love, Laugh. My three Ls that i will stand by for the rest of my life. These three things are essential to me. Through whatever i go through. Even when someone or something can't be there for me. My three Ls will be there figuratively speaking.

No school for me today. I remain bored. Well that's if I do the work. I didn't go to school becuase i tricked my mom into letting my stay. I pretended to be sick so i could clean my room and finish my break work so i wouldn't fail. Yesss..Now i will get all my work done no problem!!!! :-D. It's funny how at the age of thirteen i still have that little kid magic. Well I'm off to do my work.

Facebook: Denise Lee
Myspace: www.myspace.com/themademwithswag



BRouGHt tO You By bORdeM LanD◘♠☻♣☺☻♥

BAD GIRL!!!

hurt.pain.ya i cause it so what?! Ok angry...no im not angry. I;m incredibly bored though. so i decided to put up a bad picture of myself....Sorry to those who expected better. Ever felt like you just want to let loose and roam free. Away from conflict and just staright happiness. to be honest i don't. Even though it is a nice idea....it's not for me. See here is the BIG PICTURE!!

BIG PICTURE: Without conlfict or mistakes or anything bad....we wouldn't learn how to deal. Maybe if the world was all good we wouldn't need to deal. Everything would just flow nicely. This isn't it. Not at all. This is the exact opposite from peaceful...ok now im starting to get angry. Here's why...We spend all our time complaining about handbags and expensive things and things that really don't matter. WHY?! There are people being killed for their race. There are people starving out there and we just sit back and let the world crumble before our eyes. I know how you feel. You probably thinking...SHE DOES THE SAME THINg...I'm reall ashamed of it though. I regret being greedy and selfish because we have to understand some of us are really lucky. Some of us aren't.....Just chew on that for a second as i move to my next topic that leaves so many questions as all my others do.

MESSAGE TO MOUTH:Sometimes don't u get sick and tired of TALK. TALK....talk...sometimes i wonder why our creator gave us mouths. WHY? We talk so much. We say hurtful things as much or even more than we say the good. we say things that don't make sense. we say the wrong thing to the wrong people. Sometimes i feel having a mouth is like carrying a good and bad curse.

BORED: I'm really supposed to be doing school work.Supposedly. I just can't stop blogging. It's like a craving. Kinda like myspace can be some what addictive :D.

BROUGHT to YOU by BOREDEM land