♥Dream Life♥

Now Playing In My Headphones ; I Need A Girl by Trey Songz (That Gorgeous Man Aboveee ^)

You Know how everyone has an image of what their dream-life would be like ...Mine is SPECTACULAR !

Dream Life: iWake Up Next To The Boy Of My Dreams (And He Looks Like Either Trey Songz ; Fabolous ; Or Timothy ); kinda like Barbie Had Her Ken :) . iWould Be Famous For Either Singing/Rapping/Acting . iWould Be In Magazines & All Over Everyone's Tv. iWould give back to my community & still keep the real friends i had before they liked me for being famous. i would have friends from hollywood and all over. everyone - even internationally would know my name . My nickname would probably be billions or nisey or w.e the people or I felt is right. Later On About My Career's CLIMAX ; iWould Have a beautiful baby gurl or boy. i would spoil them to death but make sure they had their mindset correct. i would make sure their life wasn't like mine growing up. i would teach them right from wrong and give my entire life and devotion to them. i would let them grow up at their own pace ; buht not too fast ; and not too slow . My Life Wouldn't Be Perfect but it would be how i wanted it to be. that kind of dream life....

Too Bad iWouldn't Trade The Life iHad For The World . Yeaahh All the material stuff is nice and i want it ; buhh all i need is all i have and maybe even less than what i have. i love everything that God Or Whoever anyone reads this believes in ; has given to me . :D

Likee A Normal Day For Me - Todayy Was Exciting And Adventorous .

iHAVEE A TWITTER ! @AsianBeauty_Lee

BROUGHt To You bY BORDEM laNd ☻♥♀♣♠

Yesterday....

(10.22pm)

S.O.T.D. - Yesterday by Toni Braxton Ft. Trey Songz



Today Was Fun. Lol .



My Twin Got Out Of Jail Yesterday . iWas Soo Happy To see Her today. By Twin iMean My Fakee Twin. We Are the closest friends you will ever meet. iCan tell her anything and don't have to worry about her judging me ! Now iNoee Yurh wondering why she was in jail. she got framed by a kid in one of the special education classes at my school. she left her jacket in one of her classes . some boy put weed in her jacket pocket and showed it to the teacher. everyone thought it was hers and she got put in a juvinielle detention center. that was the day before yesterday...then yesterday we had a whole bunch of cops come to our school for a random search because there was a shooting on seventh avenue the day before. they were taking everyone's cellphones and electronics and you couldn't get it back until the end of the day. luckily my phone has been broken since September.



iTried To Make It My Mission to find the person who framed her but, he came to me. when i walked into the guidance office this boy from special ed. who claimed he was in love with me & kinda stalked me was sitting down talkinq to a bunch of cops. i did the math in my head and became suspicious. i started listening to their conversation and aparently he had been caught with marajuana/weed just like my twin. then on myspace he wrote me proclaiming his love and also admitting to the crime. as much as i wanted to choke him there was nothing i could do. my twin was already out and he was already suspended & transferring. im just glad she is ok. ofcourse her mother doesn't believe her story and is trying to get her tested for smoking . SMH

Today ialmost tackled her when i saw her. i love that gurl no matter how much we fight . and everyone knew about what happened so they made a big deal to. and we also decided to have a BRAWL. Boys Vs. Girls .

It All started when i hit branden . branden is my boyfriend (no one knows about us tho) who has a bunch of crazy friends who either date ; like ; or used to date one of my friends. So his friend hit me after i hit him. then one of my friends jump in. Next thing i noe we are all slamming each other ; running around ; having a jolly old time. i got slammed by numerous boys. i got dragged across the floor . thrown into a few lockers. the works. still even after a few bruises and scratches ; i had a whole lot of fun. we were smiling ; laughing ; goofing off. we all were on camera but, we didn't get in trouble. maybe tomorrow someone will shout us out . that would be kinda funny/bad .

Well i think im kinda sleepy . its been a long long day ! yet it was all fun and games ; even if someone got a lil hurt. lol.

BTW : R.I.P. Branden's Father ; He Died Todayy . SMH

BROUGHT TO YOU bY BoRDem LAnD *▐

Remember Me ?

email adress ; foreverdiamond601@yahoo.com or smexyme3@gmail.com
Aim ; CoutureThaRush
Facebook ; Denise Lee
Myspace; myspace.com/themademwithswag

{10;52 pm} My Life isn't in ruins compared to some people but, it is what we would call a slight mess. Boy problems: every girl has them . i just get them more often because of the people i choose to adore.

" We Like The One Who Ignore Us ; Ignore The Ones Who Like Us ; Love The Ones Who Hurt Us ; And Hurt The Ones Who Love Us ." - Dont know

Its The sad yet simple fact about life. yay ! im growing up. To a certain extent.

The Reason Why iHaven't been posting is because ive been busy . i miss blogging so much. ive made friends from different parts of the world because of it. i can't keep my other blog going because it takes more tim than this one . but hey atleast you guys can get somewhat of an update.

As For the boy i was crying about in my last post , Nisaiah , so much has happened between us. Over the summer we were on and off. We had such a big fight one time he picked me up and threw me off a bike and i was bleeding. i wasnt scared to fight a boy. but he ran away . As of now we're friends. the feelings are still there though. i steel call him Nanapooh when no one can hear me or when we share a conversation over aim. i still miss him in some ways , but indeed i am moving on from him. im too young to waste my life away on a boy.

Ritee Now iHave to focus on graduating. even though there are many distractions. i guess im starting to discover how i really feel about everything in life. i have gotten over the abuse . yes my father does abuse me ; but in some way i still love him. its more of an obligation to love him though. i try hard not to hate him with every bone in my body . my sexuality ; that's something i shouldn't really worry about aht my age . i cant distract my self with the foolishness of these young boys. no matter how attractive.

I promise that i will try to post whenever i find the time . i love writing about my feelings and getting feedback and all kinds of advice. so please comment and tell me what you have to say. Im kinda BRAND NEW to this all over again . : )

- Once Agen - Brouqht To Yuh BY BORDEM LAnd

Update..cont.

im currently: cryinq my eyes out [11:04 pm]


as i was sayinq. the last day of school turned out to be a bad day. at first nisaiah nd i seemed 2 be doinq the friend thinq ohk. Then all of a sudden he stopped talkinq to me. i didnt want to invade his personal space so i just left it alone. i took the train home with the smut (monee) and atiyana my bestiie. nd not 2 mention nisaiah taqqed alonq. but i think he only came 4 monee. he wasn't talkinq at all. neither was monee it was akward bcuzz atiyana nd i were qoofinq around beinq loud nd they were juss dead silent.
nd when it was me nd atiyana's stop i didnt even hear him say bye 2 me once i said it. my soul almost crushed into a little ball. i thouqht we were friends. even tho i hoped we could still be somethinq more deep down inside. as atiyana was walkinq me home. we poured our hearts out about those stupid old boy problems we had. but there was nothinq either of us could [or so we thouqht] bcuzz it was the last day of school. there would be a whole 'nother 3 months until we saw them...nd riqht b4 atiyana nd i parted i told her i was qoinq to cry when i qot home. then i was qoinq 2 take a nap.
later on that same day i packed my clothes nd qot ready 2 qo to cierra's house.

im qoinq 2 try 2 finished the next post buht riqht now i cnt even think. im cryinqq 2 much. hopefully 2mmr ill have a better shot. nd ill let u guys noe why im cryinq. juss know it has 02 do with nisaiah.

↨♥☻BrOUGht To yOu BY bordeM lAnd☻♥↨

Update.! on my life

its been months...i know
I've qrown a lot since i last posted. thinqs have chanqed buht all for the better. i haven't had time 02 bloq.! i miss all of you nd thanks 02 all my followers.

I am currently in an akward relationship with a boy named Nisaiah. Juss like isaiah with an N. We have been throuqh some touqh times. we have been on and off since like 3.10.09. im in love♥. atleast i think.lolss. buhht ive never in my life ever felt this way about a boy b4. i miqht have said this before buht this is so uhmazinqly different. he miqht juss be special.
well juss last niqht we had another problem. when we had our most recent break up 02daiis b4 the last daii of skool. he kissed some qirl named Skye. i qot ova iht the same day it happened. i didnt care cuzz we technically weren't qoinq out at the time. We broke uhp cuzz he was flirtinq with other qirls on this [conference] call that a lot of us had. he flirted wiff 02 qirls. monee[smut] nd taylor[old friend]. smh. i juss called him nd told him iht was ova. 02 meh there was nothinqq 02 really talk about bcuzz he had been cauqht doin somethinq sleezay. he thouqht he was slick buhht i was on the phone the whole time.
the next day he moved on to skye. some qirl who could be pretty buhht he mouth bothers meh.! she had liked him since they were in seventh grade.[he has been leftback so he is older than meh]. they kisssed in the stairwell at my friends house. we had been cuttin the last week of skool at his house. buht the very last day of skool we went. when iFound out i didnt really care. i kept about my business. cierra thouqht i should talk 02 him. so she called him into the hallway nd made me come out after him. he told ppl i asked him back out buht i swear 02 god i didnt. no crosses count. i asked him why he didnt juss tell meh he liked monee nd taylor.smh. his pride seemed 02 block his view at that point.
that same niqht conroy nd avery called meh. conroy[roy] is my fake sista cierra's boyfriend. nd avery is juss a friend. they are both in the 8th qrade nd are qood friends with nisaiah. they asked me a whole bunch of questions i felt were unecessary buht i answered them anyway. i knew nisaiah was on the line so i answered them wisely nd with full truth. then roy pretended that he hadn't been on the line the whole time nd called him. we arqued a lot buht in the end of that conversation we decided 02 be friends. wierd riqht.?!
the next day was thee last day of school. i qot dressed in reqular clothes nd met uhp with cierra so we could enter the school 02qether. on my way 02 meet her i saw deon nd nisaiah about 02 enter the school. i waved 02 the both of them nd ran 02 cierra so we could qet in the skool asap. most of everyone was in reqular clothes when we arrived in the cafteria. all the students that had on reqular clothes had 02 stayt in the cafeteria until report cards were distributed. i chanqed in the bathroom into my flip flops. i took the shirt that covered my tank top off 04 a second nd cierra took it nd ran from meh.! i was mahd. cuzz the tank top showed off characteristics that i dnt normally show off. especially in front of classmates.! personally my chest is kinda biq. buht that doesnt mean i would want 02 show iht off at all.! buhht i had nothinq 02 cover myself so i had to wear the tank top. nd when nisaiah saw meh in the hallway his eyes lit uhp. nd i almost blushed.! how can i blush...lolss i thouqht i was completely ova him buht i wasn't sadly.
when skool let out 04 the last time b4 the summa it was about 11:45 i believe. thass when we had our lil water fiqht. i had like 2 poland sprinq bottles buht that was iht. i qot soaked 02 the underwear. i qot hit with water balloons nd splashed with opponents water bottles.

02 be continued....

i missed postinqq my unbelievebly odd stories...lolss

Can you really label this?

creating the new beggining isn't so hard. my goodness i think i just finihsed reading one of the best books i have ever read. anyway im not going to keep my other blog. i've given it a lot of thought and i don't have time. can you believe that?! my young life is being filled with no time. Ok since i have blogged in a couple days i have exciting news....eeeppp!!! guess who larry is now associated with ever since he dumped stephany....you got it ME! when he told me they were through i went ballistic..i wanted to bounce of the walls. so he asked me if i would take her place blazay blahhh...ofcourse i said yes! I am so excited....now we're meeting up soon. i don't wanna take any of my friends but then again cierra could be a huge help...omgeeshhh i can't wait to see him. im just......speechless about this whole situation :-D. Me and Larry....*sigh* please pinch me if im dreaming. ok so so so so so so i will post later but im headed straight to school right now. I'm so freaking ready to go to school for some odd reason...just for the social life i am now in complete control of!!!

brought to YOU by BOrdem land

{EXPLAIN}

LETS SEE......i can't explain. to be so torn is like being flat out broken our ripped apart by 2 things. thats not even the full definitio of it all. no its not fair at all. Heck no...the way i see nothinqq in this wolrd is ever fair. i hate pretending. lying just sucks.....words can't explain....nothinq can explain....im being thrown in a rushing river of confusion looking for explaination....i wish i was the only one but we all suffer...we all suffer at some point..my mom just got off the phone with one of her good friends. her mother has died and she is broken.she was crying so badly. i hurt to listen to what my mother was telling me...you know sometimes i wonder if it ever gets better. if the pain goes away. i am lucky compared to some people...i might not always feel like it but i sure am. i haven't had anyone close to me die yet. the new and the old people in my life are all still her...if i could ever keep it that way forever i would...but i noe some are going to have to go...it breaks my heart to think about the horrid future and the good future...but is there really a difference?? the only people who could tell and explain that to me are the ones who have already lived their life. i wish i knew the truth. then again sometimes i don't....sometimes i like the anticipation and the waiting...what if i want to be suprised like i will have to be? i could go any way. and im not scared...so many i scared to die..me i am ready and waiting but even as i wait i live the life that i want to....maybe not everything goes as planned but the bad always lead up to the good. things have to look up in some wierd way. it might not be the way you wanted it but you don't always get what u want....that part isn't hard to believe at all.

{CONFUSED}...not really

I'm sorry. This girl can't help it. This girl really can't help it. I'm ending this..watchamacallit with Malik hopefully tonight. I have a new goal. And that goal is to try not to piss off my sister. No thats not really my goal. I'm have plenty of time to search for that. But today i decided to umm....talk about someone else's problems. For once this post will have nothinqq to do with me. HERE GOES NOTHING

My friend (can't mention names) likes a boy. She is a girl so don't worry that's not the wierd part. The boy is handsome to her. They have dated before but broke up for reasons unknow to man. My friend still has feelings for this character. For some reason she still has a strong attraction to him because there break-up wasn't all that serious. They just decided out of the blue. But she also has her heart set on another boy she dated but broke up with him for the boy i just mentioned. She has never met the first boy to this day. They had a "Phone Relationship" for quite some time. She promised him once they broke-up that when she met him if she believed he was cute she would get back with him. But for now she remains single....Or atleast from what I know. But i think she would tell the truth to me because we are the closest out of any of our other friends. I trust her enough for her to tell me the real truth.

Whoosh...Your life is gone

In a second. In a heartbeat. It takes no longer for DEATH to consume you. It can even take a shorter time. I don't want to dwell on death but i believe it is worth discussing. Not all people live to their hundreds and 90s. But we all no this. What i really want to say is LIFE is too short to let it walk right by you. You have to grasp every moment in LIFE or else....You see what i am saying. Live, Love, Laugh. My three Ls that i will stand by for the rest of my life. These three things are essential to me. Through whatever i go through. Even when someone or something can't be there for me. My three Ls will be there figuratively speaking.

No school for me today. I remain bored. Well that's if I do the work. I didn't go to school becuase i tricked my mom into letting my stay. I pretended to be sick so i could clean my room and finish my break work so i wouldn't fail. Yesss..Now i will get all my work done no problem!!!! :-D. It's funny how at the age of thirteen i still have that little kid magic. Well I'm off to do my work.

Facebook: Denise Lee
Myspace: www.myspace.com/themademwithswag



BRouGHt tO You By bORdeM LanD◘♠☻♣☺☻♥

BAD GIRL!!!

hurt.pain.ya i cause it so what?! Ok angry...no im not angry. I;m incredibly bored though. so i decided to put up a bad picture of myself....Sorry to those who expected better. Ever felt like you just want to let loose and roam free. Away from conflict and just staright happiness. to be honest i don't. Even though it is a nice idea....it's not for me. See here is the BIG PICTURE!!

BIG PICTURE: Without conlfict or mistakes or anything bad....we wouldn't learn how to deal. Maybe if the world was all good we wouldn't need to deal. Everything would just flow nicely. This isn't it. Not at all. This is the exact opposite from peaceful...ok now im starting to get angry. Here's why...We spend all our time complaining about handbags and expensive things and things that really don't matter. WHY?! There are people being killed for their race. There are people starving out there and we just sit back and let the world crumble before our eyes. I know how you feel. You probably thinking...SHE DOES THE SAME THINg...I'm reall ashamed of it though. I regret being greedy and selfish because we have to understand some of us are really lucky. Some of us aren't.....Just chew on that for a second as i move to my next topic that leaves so many questions as all my others do.

MESSAGE TO MOUTH:Sometimes don't u get sick and tired of TALK. TALK....talk...sometimes i wonder why our creator gave us mouths. WHY? We talk so much. We say hurtful things as much or even more than we say the good. we say things that don't make sense. we say the wrong thing to the wrong people. Sometimes i feel having a mouth is like carrying a good and bad curse.

BORED: I'm really supposed to be doing school work.Supposedly. I just can't stop blogging. It's like a craving. Kinda like myspace can be some what addictive :D.

BROUGHT to YOU by BOREDEM land

My Egyptian Lover

Again the title has nothing to do with te post. It is a song i am sooo in love with. It is by DJ Spacecowboy ft. Nadia. Listen to it!! As i always do when i pay my visits to bordem land i have to do something out of the ordinary.

See here is the thing:

The thing. The most undescriable word. Honestly i hate/love the word thing. Its bland yet says so much. It leaves open space for any idea. No matter how big or how small. But it's just a word right??? How am i supposed to know?!Thing could mean anything. Thing could be anything. You see how confusing it is. If you really think about it THING is anyTHING.

OK....i changed my mind. I dedicate "MY EGYPTIAN LOVER" to larry (as said in my old post). Yea so what he's not Egyptian....but if you listen to the song you'll see what i mean. Now for the dream sequence or part of the post about my old dream.

Dream 1: There is a crowd with thousands of people. I am focused on the only thing that is running past me. It's larry oddly enough. He is staring dead at me. I'm staring back. And for a while we just stare at each other. Then through all the pushing people he extends his hand to me. I stare at for a second then give him my hand. Then we push through the crowd the opposite way that they are running. Then i wake up.

Dream 2: I'm sitting down on a carpet. A leg moves over my head. I look up to see Larry laughing at me. He says hello and i gasp to see it's him. He laughs a little more and then pulls out a newspaper. I'm on the cover! It is a picture of me pulling my head out of a barrel of water. My hair ad my face are all wet. My hair lifts the water so delicately and with such grace it looks like an excellent piece of photography (just the way i like it). He laughs a little more and then i awake.

Those 2 dreams i really did dream. They happened about a few days apart last month. Last month i wasn't able to post them because i had been away from blogger. But as you can see...I think it might be fate for Larry and I to be together. I think about him...he thinks about me. But there are things stopping us which brings me to rethink what i thought b4. Maybe fate ha othe ideas for us from what we want. Maybe we have to want it more than we already do. There are so many possibilities in life...and not enough time to live them. Don't dwell on something when you have your whole life ahead of you. There are somethings you have to let go of. No matter how much it hurts you inside. That's the part that really sucks.

THE LAST DAY OF CAMP: I had it all planned out that last day. I was going t slip my number into Larry's bag at the end of the day when he wasn't looking. That way when he opened it he would be able to call me after camp. My plan was foiled when he didnt come that last day. I was so disapointed but i kept it moving. There were other people i had to say good-bye to as well.

See life doesn't always go as planned.You better embrace it. You have no other choice.

Brought to you by BOREDEM land

Hurumphhh!!!

No it's happening again. I'm torn between two boys. One i shouldn't even have feelings for honestly. Larry has a girlfriend. No matter how many times i try to remember i wind up flirting and doing things i shouldn't. Be glad it's just over AIM. I am scared to think about what i would do if it was face to face. Then there's Malik. The boy i have never seen/met b4 in my life. He is a boy i have talked to over the phone numerous times. We e-mail each other and talk for hours. He is a giant sweetheart. Malik is the cousin of Tyler a boy i used to "go out" with. Tyler is actually in my class as well and sits next to me in math. But how the heck can i take this relationship forward if i never met the guy and i've only spoken to him. I'm trying not to lose my mind over here but come one!!! Why do these things happen. It makes sense but then again it doesn't.

I haven't been to Kung Fu since 3 weeks ago. I can easily sneak my way out of it. I hate it. I noe it is supposed to treat me how to defend myself and all but....IT SUCKS!!! It's hard work i'll tell you that. I have never hurt,sweat, worked out so much in my life. It is crazy in that dojo or whatever the heck it's called. My mom is staying at the Hyatt hotel anyway so she won't even know if i don't go 2moro :). Yesss!!!

BRought TO YoU By boRdEm LAnD

Xtra virgin

I was listening to Halo by beyonce just little while ago. The song talks about Beyonce tearing down her protection to let the most holy guy she has ever met into her heart. She finally believes she has found the right one. Sometimes i love to hear stories through music. not only does it inspire me but it shows me that stories come in all forms. I love to write. Life stories are the best because they are more real than you can possibly imgaine.

I love love. I was admiring the Obamas the other day and it made me realize love does exist. Maybe only in a distance but it is still there. You have to try and look for it. In very few cases does love come to you. Once you find love there is only a slight possibilty that you will realize it right away. It could take years before you notice. And if you take too long someone else could take that love away from you. Maybe on purpose or not.....

In other news my title had nothing to do with my post. I did that to throw off track of what i was really going to write. LARRY is the next topic. Like i said for some reason a lot ofmy posts have to do with him. If you don't know who the heck he is....you might wanna retrace your steps a bit. He is all over my old posts. We were on AIM again last night and...and well this time things got deep. We were talking about how crazy i was (not mentally) and i asked him if he hated my crazziness. He said he LOVED it. I awwwwwed him and i knew he was blushing on the other side of the spectrum. Now im not saying he loved me. I;m justsaying he loves my personality. And he already knows how he feels about how i look. Everyone who went to camp with us does. hehehehe.

So i was just watching THE MIST....A nasty and scary movie....Whewww it was my first time..lol that was soo crazy....g2g my bf is on myspace and we soo need to talk after what happened last night!!!

Brought To Yoou Buy Boredem land

Contained+Larry=My post

I am limiting myself. I'm afraid to ask others how they feel about me. I am scared of rejection. I believe it is the thing that terrifies me the most. i admire people who aren't afraid of rejection because I know i am. I know i can't change myself. to be honest i am ok with that. I am loved flaws and all by good people.

LARRY: It seems now ever since i was reconnected with him every post is about him. I figure it is good to let out feelings because some shouldn't be held in. I dedicated a few songs to him.

My Egyptian Lover-by Dj Spacecowboy

Girlfriend-by Avril

Heaven Sent-by Keisha Cole

Crush-by David Archuleta

Us Against the world- by Christina Milian

Lovebug- by Jonas Brothers

and those are just the basics. I honestly can't stop thinking about that boy. Is he reading me?! and by that i mean does he know i have feelings for him..Probably more than his girlfriend does. I wonder, oh do i wonder if he feels the same. But last night i realized something. I was talking to him over AIM. We were flirting and having fun through the computer. We could talk about anything.Anything at all. I was happy I was able to have that connection at all. That's when i realized i was ok with us just being friends. It takes time to actually reach that level of maturity. I'm suprised i even got there to be honest. I think i can settle for us being friends and nothing more. When I told Atiyana she even said i sounded mature. i joke around a lot so she had to be serious. I feel good inside knowing that the boy i have so many feelings for can stay my friend and be nothing more. Now that might sound crazy to you...but not to me. I kind of like the idea because then that way no one gets hurt. However if he does realize that he wants to be with me...Then maybe there is a possibility that could happen. But it is one slim possibility because i believe i have finally made up my mind. And it feels AMAZING!

Brought to you by boredem land!!!

problems like everyone else

hey...hey.. hey...I am going to tell you something. READ THE POSTS ABOUT me being the girl i fear the most..If you have read it already disreguard that. I decided to post a second time today because i love talking to you guys even though some of you don't respond. I think every force (maybe even god) is trying to stop me from being with Larry. Everyone talks about him. They say he's ugly and stuff. Even my sister knows Larryisn't ugly. And he decided to take a girl who i know deep down inside i pleased him more than she does. And i am not afraid to ask him that. I am sick and tired of being afraid. I have strong feelings for him. I am frankly sick and tired of being critisized by people who are jealous of us. I want that girl Stephany out of the picture. i fear that's impossible because...well..because we don't see each other. I've never even met the girl. I hate hate hate the fact that i can't have him. I used to joke that he had a sign on his head that said he was owned by me..silly right? I miss him so much. Just earlier we were messaging each other. Why does he have such an effect on me?!?! it hurt me in my soul because i don't want to hurt Stephany because that's a terrible thing to do....Deep down inside i know whatis right and what ir wrong. But at times like these it is hard to follow the right....if the wrong seems so much better. Sometimes i wonder why wrong sometimes feels so right and why right feels so wrong. It irks me soooooooo much. I wonder if there is anyone who has been through this situation besides me. I know i have already been through this once. I lost him do to doing the "right" thing. I regret it every day. Every single day. Never before has a boy left such a big impact on me like Larry has. I know i left a mark on him too. I just know it. Somewhere somehow someway i know he feels the same. It's like a connection thing where i just know. I do..I do know....I know i had worked hard to obtain the place that i WAS with him when we saw each other everyday. I wonder if he believes we can be together again. That is something no one can know besides HIM. honestly i hate running from the truth. Dang...David Archuleta speaks to me sometimes. He can sing so well and maybe he is the only one who can understand me. I used to think my sister could but she can't...so far i don't know anyone who understands how i feel deep down in my "core soul":-(.....If you need me i will be in eternal slumber dreaming about the boy of my dreams.

Broought to you by boredem land!!!

Crystal Sunset

I was just listening to David Archuleta. My favorite song from him is crush. I am in love with that song. Happy Valentine's Day btw!! Even though I hate this holiday i wanted to wish you all a happy one. I got a whole lot for valentine's day. so did my sister. Her NEW bf Blake got her a few things. I only got a peek because by the time i got home from my little exploration they were both ready at my house ready to leave. I am starting to question Blake...I wonder if he doesn't like me... :(.....I almost said something mean about him.. I feel kind of bad because the only thing he ever said about me that offended me was that i was a little too hyper...w.e. it's not like he's my bf..ok secret time: This is a really juicy scret. I still like Larry even though he goes out with that gurl...uqqhhh....I wish she would just vanish..Then again I don't want to be some last resort or rebound or anything like that. I can't stop thinking about him. He needs to make some moves. But the thing is ...I will don't know when the heck i am going to see him....It makes me wonder how i have survived without him. In camp he was one of the reasons why i came back and went everyday (even when he wasn't there :-*) Sometimes my own methods confuse myself. My nosey older sister has been trying to figure me out for a long time... Never going to happen because no one can understand me. My future therapist probably won't even understand where i am coming from. I like that because that gives me a mysterious sense to myself.. Wait that didn't make a lick of sense (a lick?)...see i question myself all the time. Huh....i am so queer :) i luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv luv it...


TOOODLEZZ

doo da day da doop shooe bop de doo

Ok feelings are always let out in this blog....I got my heartbroken...My friend disrespected me andn tried to blame me for it...I wrote an amzaing story....I don't care what others think anymore....I HATE valentine's day. Even though i have a valentine the holiday just sucks anyway. I don't really know why. So I finally got a myspace. I never knew how addictive it was. Im young anyway so i know to look out for petafiler's and stuff. I am turning thirteen so soon. i am excited...Right now i am awaiting my sister. I'm scared to see her because she can figure me out in seconds. i'm trying to hide the fact that i have a valentine from her. Then she will want to know my wereabouts and everything...Why doesn't she gorun off with her new bf. Yah he is a keeper. he is really sweet but he is annoying as well. His name is Blake. He and i have become friends. i met him for the first time when he cam over to my mother's house. It's kinda funny because my sister is taller than him so when she is around him she has to were flats and he always wears his ACGs..They played scrable together because he doesn't have the DELUXE EDITION at his house like we do. I had fun making fun of them...Boy did i take pleasure in that. After that he added me on myspace and facebook and we have been having little convos about my sister and other things. Mostly about my sister though. That's all he ever does. Talk talk talk about my sister... Is he obssesed. Everything has to do with her... sometimes it is quite sickening.. She isn't even as obssesed with him as he is her....Wait did that even make sense?? Well happy friday the 13th...oooh spooky

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