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2/15/2009

Contained+Larry=My post


I am limiting myself. I'm afraid to ask others how they feel about me. I am scared of rejection. I believe it is the thing that terrifies me the most. i admire people who aren't afraid of rejection because I know i am. I know i can't change myself. to be honest i am ok with that. I am loved flaws and all by good people.





LARRY: It seems now ever since i was reconnected with him every post is about him. I figure it is good to let out feelings because some shouldn't be held in. I dedicated a few songs to him.

My Egyptian Lover-by Dj Spacecowboy

Girlfriend-by Avril

Heaven Sent-by Keisha Cole

Crush-by David Archuleta

Us Against the world- by Christina Milian

Lovebug- by Jonas Brothers

and those are just the basics. I honestly can't stop thinking about that boy. Is he reading me?! and by that i mean does he know i have feelings for him..Probably more than his girlfriend does. I wonder, oh do i wonder if he feels the same. But last night i realized something. I was talking to him over AIM. We were flirting and having fun through the computer. We could talk about anything.Anything at all. I was happy I was able to have that connection at all. That's when i realized i was ok with us just being friends. It takes time to actually reach that level of maturity. I'm suprised i even got there to be honest. I think i can settle for us being friends and nothing more. When I told Atiyana she even said i sounded mature. i joke around a lot so she had to be serious. I feel good inside knowing that the boy i have so many feelings for can stay my friend and be nothing more. Now that might sound crazy to you...but not to me. I kind of like the idea because then that way no one gets hurt. However if he does realize that he wants to be with me...Then maybe there is a possibility that could happen. But it is one slim possibility because i believe i have finally made up my mind. And it feels AMAZING!



Brought to you by boredem land!!!

2 comments:

Cait said...

Just be care..no the down side too..remember to be there for you too. Stay strong..don't let him get to your weakness.

Tenley said...

i really like your blog!!!